"Self-awareness is a conscious knowing that cannot be quick fixed into sound bite learning."

At what point do we think we get it? The moment of enlightenment about who we are? The point that our understanding of how we are seen is crafted by truth and reality. At what point are we truly aware? Well, it seems that point is at best elusive and at worse a myth we tell ourselves that we have achieved.

Research conducted by Eurich Group examined what self-awareness really was, why we need it, and how we can increase it. The results may shock and surprise many in the coaching, self-help and therapeutic business. It appears only 10 to 15% of us are actually self aware. And that's not a lot of us.

If you are asking yourself, why is this interesting, just check out these statistics for life coaches ( Life Coaching ) .

  • 71,000 life coaches based in 161 countries worldwide
  • In 2018 there were 53,300 coaches
  • Life coaching is the second fastest growing industry in the US
  • The estimated global revenue from coaching in 2019 was $2.849 billion
  • The coaching industry has a $1 billion value in the US
  • A search for 'coaches' on LinkedIn brought in over 6.28 million results in 2020

This means a generous 56, 800 of these life coaches are not as aware and insightful as their clients may rightly or wrongfully believe them to be. Or if we look at it another way, these coaches believe themselves to be very self-aware when in fact they may not be. I know, awkward. If this is true then how skilled is this profession to enhance, dig deep and bring true awareness to their clients? How biased and judgy is the coaching advice, opinions and support given. As clients of coaches, what are the expectations on the coach's level of insight and awareness. What if they have effective internal awareness and poor external awareness. Or the other way round? How does that alter the exchange of mentoring and guidance?

How can one of the fastest growing industries be unaware how unaware they might be? What is the impact of this and as a generally unregulated industry, what is the criteria required to ensure those that coach, are not simply skilled at being and teaching introspective? Does it matter?

Identity Mind Traps make us unaware.

The study found that there are two distinct types of awareness- internal and external and that we flux between these levels of awareness. More than this, the study indicated 'that experience and power can hinder self-awareness, and that introspection doesn't always make you more self-aware." It appears the higher we climb on that ladder, the less our self and other awareness grows. Maybe we are looking inwards in the wrong way or for the wrong reasons?

How about with our leaders and CEO or C-suites? What if they are led to believe that introspection equals awareness and act accordingly. Misguidedly believing they have true insight, when in reality they have only scratched the surface of becoming aware.

The idea of an "identity mindtrap" ( Aware Leaders ) is something we can all fall into. The more we thrive the less we dive into our awareness. In the article on identity mindtraps and leaders, lack of real awareness can 'blind us to valuable personal-growth opportunities and how a more expansive view, grounded in the principles of adult development, can help us recognize our potential and improve the odds of seizing it. The results not only are personally beneficial-helping us lead with more ease and empathy and improving our ability to deal with complexity-but can also help our teams and organizations thrive in an uncertain, rapidly changing world."

Identity mind traps are the outcome of getting stuck in personal or professional development. The most common response to having any coaching or therapy is to build a new, stronger, happier identity. And then we feel safe. We like this version. It works for us. Others like it. We don't want to let it go.

We are naive to think even the most insightful of us is unaware of the impulsivity to protect our identity. Who hasn't found themselves "instinctively arguing that we are right, holding onto simple stories where we feature as heroes and others as villains, tribal-or polarizing-behaviour, and inflating our sense of personal agency while deflecting responsibility?"

Being aware is the ability to be in the moment and owning that moment, in all its discomfort.
Awareness is a conscious mindset, a state of emerging knowing that reads you, your actions and motivations. It is a deep self-analysis of the 'what and why' of each interaction and reaction between the interconnectedness we all experience with others. It is both jury and judge for all we believe.

Your public and private face (Internal and external awareness).

The Eurich research described internal self-awareness, as 'how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviours, strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on others.'

They discovered that our level of internal self-awareness impacts on our happiness (jobs, relationship satisfaction, personal and social control). Low internal awareness is connected to unhappiness (anxiety, stress, and depression).

The more aware we are, on why we react, what we think, our emotional range and understand ourselves, the better we become on realising the impact we have on others. For many, coaching can bring some insight and skills to develop internal awareness. In fact, this is the area that coaching thrives in. The 'tell me more about myself' style of self-development.

There is another level of awareness that is far more difficult to master and that is external self-awareness. Our ability and capacity to correctly grasp how other people view us, including how they think, feel, react towards us. How they view us, and our strengths and weaknesses is a whole other ball game. External awareness can heighten a sense of true empathy, empower interconnectedness and communication, and allow us to see clearly from another perspective. We are seen as trustworthy, relatable, and confident, which in turn builds our own esteem and self-trust.

Let's think on this some more. How many people get coached and still feel discontent, keep searching and returning to find out more? Why doesn't it sustain our happy feeders? Maybe the longing for true contentment requires finding the gap in our awareness.

As the team at McKinsey Report note ( Aware Leaders ) identity mindtraps happen "instinctively, hidden from our awareness." Our self-misguidedness is a constant driver behind the scenes, navigating our way through unsafe emotional landscapes. "We might think we're "doing what it takes" or we're "standing up for ourselves" or any other self-justification technique we might choose to explain our behaviour as we subconsciously seek to manage the impressions that others have of us." It is here we discover our lack of authentic external awareness.

Mental traps of the unaware

The Eurich study called the different combinations of internal and external awareness introspectors, seekers, pleasers and aware. Indicators of the level of actual self-awareness across both divides. It is the gaps in our self-development, the levels across these divides, that creates the imbalances and shifts the focus and intent of what we do, despite our best intentions. Common examples are;

  • When we believe we have deep insight and yet remain unaware how we dismiss others' emotions.
  • When we have a personal breakthrough and believes that skills us to help everyone.
  • When we have a story to tell to inspire and cannot see the ego that drives the need to share.
  • When we want to connect yet feel superior.
  • When we cannot recognise, we get critical when challenged.
  • When we think we delivered a great performance and ignore the vibe in the room.
  • When we ignore the data that tells us very few of us are aware.
  • When we assume how others feel about us, without questioning the assumption.
  • When we judge other's reactions to us.

These examples come from well-respected and introspective professionals who have a blind spot. A gap they fail to see. An imbalance between their internal and external awareness. It is subtle and small and is orchestrated by very human needs to be liked, respected and valued.

So, what are we doing wrong here? Exactly what is missing in the self-development arena that our growth of awareness of who we are and how we are seen by others is such a rare gem to find.

Perhaps the answer is making self-development too palatable. In talking to colleagues recently something was said that got me thinking. We were describing the Aware Group's mindset coaching tools, (to professionals that have done a fair amount of self-development and a would hazard a guess, believed they were self-aware). The tools have some theoretic information (the why), assessments and tasks (the how) and reflection journals and mindset meditations (the what) to build and challenge your internal and external awareness levels for growth.

The response we got was that having to learn the skill and be responsible for that learning was too hard. 'Isn't there a quicker or easier way to do it?"

And there we have it.

We want or have come to believe that developing a deeper consciousness should be easy. If not, well let's just stick with being introspective and carry on with our hidden biases. A higher level of knowing about ourselves and how we connect to others, the capacity to see how others really see us, comes with a level of complexity that many may give up on, or lose interest in discovering.

Mental traps of the unaware

At the Aware Group we have focused on eight internal and external levels of awareness, requiring shifts at a cognitive, emotional, spiritual, work and social level. It requires depth in resilience, openness, control and self-reliance. Self-awareness is a conscious knowing that cannot be quick fixed into sound bite learning. Awareness is for the coaches that seek their own growth to enlighten their authenticity and challenge them out of the identity mind trap they might be resting in. Self-awareness is for the highly self-motivated that get excited by the discovery of self and are fearless to be challenged to find that moment of aware.

For me, I am enjoying discovering where my gaps are and doing the grit work to find my blind spots. My aim? Maybe one day I will find myself in that top 10 to 15% of truly self-aware people. And then ask myself what am I next?
The future self is for the fearless of getting aware.

Sarah Godfrey is a psychologist and mindset coach, director and business owner, board co-chair and co-founder of Aware.

A common question we get asked at AWARE is ‘how do I get from knowing my values to becoming self-aware?’ The quick answer is in your ability to evaluate yourself with clarity and without bias. On the surface this looks relatively simple, however as N

A common question we get asked at AWARE is ‘how do I get from knowing my values to becoming self-aware?’ The quick answer is in your ability to evaluate yourself with clarity and without bias. On the surface this looks relatively simple, however as Nicky Mackie (co-founder of Aware) and I both continue to discover, our true ability to be fully aware can be a rough, exhilarating and surprising lifetime journey. It is not in the amount of self-introspection we do. It is in the internalising of the subconscious awakening that comes from putting fear and judgment aside. We can look beyond the reflection in the mirror of want we want to see and take the risk to go behind the self-image we have carefully cultivated. It is in this shadow we can discover the endless potential, the humanity and the parts locked away from the world (and often ourselves). Here lies our authenticity, our courage and the future self-emergence to be who we should and always could have been.

If the thrill and excitement of rediscovering yourself isn’t enough, becoming self-aware improves all areas of your life, relationships, and leadership roles that we all traverse through in a lifetime.

Nicky Mackie (co-founder of Aware) and I both continue to discover, our true ability to be fully aware can be a rough, exhilarating and surprising lifetime journey. It is not in the amount of self-introspection we do. It is in the internalising of the subconscious awakening that comes from putting fear and judgment aside. We can look beyond the reflection in the mirror of want we want to see and take the risk to go behind the self-image we have carefully cultivated. It is in this shadow we can discover the endless potential, the humanity and the parts locked away from the world (and often ourselves). Here lies our authenticity, our courage and the future self-emergence to be who we should and always could have been.

If the thrill and excitement of rediscovering yourself isn’t enough, becoming self-aware improves all areas of your life, relationships, and leadership roles that we all traverse through in a lifetime.

16 reasons being AWARE will change your Life?

The benefits are personal and much, much more. Let’s take you through a few benefits that you can achieve in becoming AWARE.

  1. When we are truly self-aware, we see, interact and relate to the world differently.
  2. We are cognizant -, mentally connected- with who we really are and why we move in the spaces we find ourselves.
  3. We are conscious of what we feel, say, and do with a deeper understanding of its impact on our lives and those around us.
  4. We grow a new level of rational, sensibilities that regulate our emotions, letting us make better choices and relationships in life.
  5. We feel alive and awake with the knowledge of something unique and special, our true, authentic self.
  6. Being aware leads to greater happiness and contentment, social effectiveness and confidence.
  7. Being aware creates an internal and external vigilance, an alertness in deciphering and reading our experiences.
  8. Awareness, in its essence, gives us the power to influence outcomes.
  9. With a deeper knowledge of who we are, we can become more creative and resilient in our decision-making processes.
  10. We can elevate our self-confidence — giving us access to seeing each situation with more clarity. In this way our communication improves, anchored in honesty and authenticity.
  11. Our intentions become clearer to those around us.
  12. We have the capability of seeing each moment, relationship, and interaction from an abundance of viewpoints.
  13. In business and in leadership, awareness is the key to high performance, decision agility and personal and professional growth.
  14. Awareness sets us free from our own hidden agendas, judgments, biases and assumptions that hold us back from love, success and peace in our lives.
  15. We learn the skill of understanding how others really see us-from partners and friends, to workplaces and beyond.
  16. With an aware outward perception, we can connect and emphasize with people from all different backgrounds and cultures.

Being AWARE in Leadership and Business is vital.

When we look outward, we understand how people view us. Becoming aware of how people see us, how we appear to the public social world, makes us more likely to be empathetic to people with different perspectives. Leaders whose self-perception matches others' perceptions are more likely to empower, include, and recognize others. This divergent mindset expands possibilities and brings creativity and innovation to everything we do.

The style of leadership in business is changing, and companies and organisations are looking for leaders with the strength to lead, adapt fast and the compassion to support others. Although on the surface this value-add looks easy, given the amount of professional development, life experiences and skills leaders master to be in their position. The reality is, according to recent research, that only 10-15% of all of us, actually meet the self-awareness measurements.

Although this may not seem problematic to some, a lack of self-awareness becomes concerning when our leaders are governing decision-making, from business to countries. Where 45% of CEO’s make their decisions based on instinct, the depth of introspection that guides that instinct is extremely important. Perception is driven by experiences, insight and unknown biases. Galinsky and colleagues researched power and perception (self vs other orientation -the two links to meta-awareness) and discovered across five studies that compared to individuals with little power—high-power individuals anchor too heavily on their own perspectives and demonstrate a diminished ability to correctly perceive others’ perspectives.

The springboard of power combined with perspective-taking may be a particularly constructive force to develop socially responsible global leaders.

Looking beyond ourselves, leaders with little self-awareness may not be able to make conscious choices that benefit those around them, the business goals and the world that is impacted by them. It is our ability to become truly aware, to awaken the possibility of what we don’t know, that will improve and elevate leadership for the future. We all will benefit from aware leaders who have the courage to dig deeper into their motivations, biases, and abilities for a more positive and uplifting result. Outcomes for business and leadership are hinged on the capacity for our future companies to invest in true self-awareness as a continued growth mindset, if we want socially responsible organisations that people want to work for and purchase from.

Aware Awakening

When we stop challenging our world view and assume we are knowledgeable enough to create an emotional status quo, we enter the blame and shame game. It slowly becomes everyone else’s fault for bad decisions, failed relationships, low profits and high turnovers. It is ‘their’ failure for not being creative enough or flexible and adaptive to change and your needs. All at a subconscious level. Being unaware is not a conscious error in your cognitions. It is a reluctance to find the courage to question what you knew, what your beliefs and values are and what was the prototype constructs that built them in the first place. It is the strength to seek the knowledge to see yourself from another perspective.

Now, imagine a life where all 16 benefits of becoming aware are possible.

What happens next?

AWARE has developed, based on these research findings and 40 combined years in psychology and business, the skills to reset, review and reenergise your self-awareness in life, leadership and business. Perhaps it is your time to find the peace, happiness and success in your Life, Leadership or Business and begin exploring the gaps you can’t see to become authentically self-aware.

Sarah Godfrey is a psychologist and mindset coach, director and business owner, board co-chair and co-founder of Aware.

Words, like other things, can become trends and resilience, is a big buzz word. But what does it mean, and can we build resilience? Are we born with resilience or is it something we learn by watching others?

The McKinsey Report defines resilience as the ‘ability of a business to withstand, adapt, and thrive in the face of shocks that are internal and external, as well as known and unanticipated.’

We are much like a business in that our own internal resilience is the capacity we have to adapt, flex and grow from the unexpected shocks of life-from personal to environmental challenges. Our resilience is only as strong as our mental platform and the emotional scaffolding we build each time we withstand what life throws at us.

Doing The Dusty

To borrow from Brene Brown who talks about being a gladiator in life, resilience is how we cope getting in that arena, knowing we may get hurt and fail, and dusting ourselves off to try again, forge a path forward. Part of learning how to be resilient means being prepared to be courageous and brave through the toughest of times.

Doing the dusty means dusting off the doubt, fear and frustration that comes from life’s shocks and challenges. Dusty minds are slow to respond to the unexpected and sluggish to recover. Shake off the events and get back up, mentally, to try again. And again, and again. If that is what it takes.

The Choice is Yours

Resilience is not only about taking a deep mental breath and trying again, but also the choices we make in the moment. Our decision-making skills determine our response sets to life events. In every moment we can make a choice. We can allow ourselves to be buried under the weight of misfortune or events out of our control. Or we can choose to look beyond the negative impact and focus on the outcomes we have in our control. Every decision leads us in one direction or another. That is the superpower we can use. The choice to take the next step, the next thought the next action. That is what you have control over, right now.

If it is not the greatest choice, then we have the ability to make another decision to change the direction we are going in. When all around us seems in chaos, we mustn’t forget that our next move is up to us. And that move can change everything.

Traffic Light Wellbeing

Being a resilient person indicates you engage in some form of self-care and reflection. How else can you learn to grow from adversity?

One tip for developing your resilience is to have an awareness of your own strength (emotional or otherwise), and when it is dipping a bit. Using a traffic light warning system to measure the wellbeing of those around you as well as your own wellness, is a quick and easy tool to use.

For your team members, you can grade them on their capacity to manage internal and external things going on in their life or at work.

Equally, you can use this system to read how you are travelling emotionally.

RED: They/I am overwhelmed and need support.

  • What can I do to help them/myself?
  • What supports can I set in motion?
  • What parts of their/my workload can I delegate to others?
  • Have I checked in on them/myself today?
  • What else can I, the team or the organisation do to support?

ORANGE: They/I have some stress but are/am not overwhelmed yet.

  • I need to continue to observe and check in on their/my wellbeing.
  • I need to prepare for supports or changes to help them/me should things escalate.
  • I should set in motion low key actions to provide preventative support.

GREEN. Good to go.

  • I/They are doing well and do not need additional support at this time.
  • Encourage and reward them/myself for maintaining wellbeing and resilience.
  • Identify them/myself as possible short-term mentors for others.

Tips for Building Resilience

Collect data- What is going on around, right now, that is affecting my wellbeing?

Correct thinking- Shift from fear to future.

Power Surge- Start to make choices that can move you forward, change the situation or stabilise things.

Do the dusty- fall, fail and get back up. Dust off the negative feelings and attachments and focus on what you can learn instead.

Be responsive- react with a considered and realistic mindset.

Groove Crew-Connect with your resilient teams, personally and professionally.

Build your mental platform- How have I coped in the past? What did I do? What worked?

Click here to listen to this episode and more.

Click Here

Nigel Sutton was a special guest on our Podcast The Business Hangover with Nicky and Sarah. His raw and inspiring story on how he managed his cancer diagnosis and the growth he discovered throughout the process is only touched on in the conversation below.

What we loved hearing was how he reframed his experience and the powerful message he shared.

Listen to the podcast to hear more.

nigel 2

Long before I was diagnosed with cancer I had listened to stories from friends and family about battling and fighting cancer. I was never comfortable with the idea that someone was battling cancer, particularly if it was announced they had lost the battle. I understand why we use these terms, for many they are terms of empowerment, to rally up the strength to journey through cancer treatments.

A cancer diagnosis turns your world upside down. Every cancer journey is unique, and I support the whatever it takes attitude, do what works for you. When it happened to me, I became curious. I had friends with chronic health issues. I wanted to know their take on fighting and battling illness. The consensus, it’s about managing your illness.

prostate-cancer-doctor

Could I manage my cancer? Yes, I could. I would let my extraordinary team of specialist do any fighting on my behalf; they have an arsenal of weaponry to go into battle. I would concentrate on healing rather than fighting.

I was determined to manage my cancer with a deep sense of kindness. I thought about how I managed my business, how my mentor and friend Sarah Godfrey had introduced me the importance of having a kick ass tribe. I knew it was going to be the same for managing my cancer. There wasn’t going to be just one person to support me I was going to need different things from different people. I was blessed with a truly kick ass tribe that included clients who adapted to my needs.

Some Tips.

  • Make sure you have enough insurance in your super to cover permanent disability and terminal illness.

    I know no one wants to think about this and it always happens to someone else, but keeping your fingers crossed behind your back is not a business plan. It’s a small amount of money and a big impact if you have the right insurance.

  • Contingency Plan or who can run my business for me?

    We think we’re irreplaceable when we are our business. But we must give some thought to the idea of having someone else run our business temporarily. Who in your tribe can do that? Have you set up a simple handover system that someone else can follow if needed?

  • Keep working during cancer treatment if you want to.

    In fact, keep doing what you were doing before your diagnosis if possible. Work gives you purpose and keeps your mind active. Only keep working if your job brings you joy. If working is all worry and stress, call your tribe to help take the pressure off and take a break.

  • Keep moving, exercise is highly recommended for most cancer patients.

    Exercise, exercise, oh did I mention exercise. Keep moving, keep living.

  • Ask for help!

    Get a psychologist, the earlier you share the impact of this enormous change with a professional listener the better you and your business will be.

  • Finally, talk with other business owners who have had or are having the same experience.

    Manage your cancer like you do your business, with the intention to grow and have a great future.

  • I am not in a war.

  • I do not go into battle every day.

  • I manage my cancer as a part of my life.

    I give myself time to heal and time to manage a business that brings me and my tribe, or as Nicky Mackie would say my Groove Crew, a great sense purpose.

For more tips and help in managing your business while being treated for cancer please click on the link below.

Managing your business

Resolving the false imposter in you.

Decades ago, I sat around a large table in a hospital, as a shiny new psychologist. Around me sat paediatricians, neuropsychologist, psychiatrists, general practitioners, and a team of allied health professionals. My client was a young male with multiple mental health challenges. I can remember clearly looking around and wondering what on earth I was doing at the table. Everyone invited to the case meeting had years of experience over me. I worried what level of contribution I could actually make, and worse, my budding professional experience was going to be exposed and I would be humiliated. I was positive I was punching well above my weight.

Why is it when we finally get the job, success or career move so wanted, we can become riddled with self-doubt? What makes us feel like an imposter, regardless of the skills and experience we bring to any role in our lives? How often have we all waited for someone to realise that we've fluked our way into the success we've arrived at?

It was first noticed in 1970's by psychologists Suzanne Imes, PhD, and Pauline Rose Clance, PhD, who identified a strange phenomenon amongst high achievers. They appeared unable to internalize and accept their success.

'They often attribute their accomplishments to luck rather than to ability, and fear that others will eventually unmask them as a fraud.'

At this time, it was predominately women struggling to claim their success.

'In spite of consistent objective data to the contrary, they attributed their successes to serendipity, luck, contacts, timing, perseverance, charm, or even the ability to appear more capable than they felt themselves to be.'

Suzanne Imes proposed a contributing factor was when 'families placed a big emphasis on achievement' or bounced between 'over-praise and criticism.' False Imposter Of course add on to a background of unstable ego building, social, cultural and academic pressure and it is no wonder we struggle to feel worthy of success at times.

Not so much a syndrome as a phenomenon.

Well, here's the good news. Feeling like an imposter is not actually a syndrome. A syndrome is generally related to a small cohort of people while perceptions of being a false imposter is felt on mass. It is called pluralistic ignorance, which means we all think we are the only ones plagued with self-doubt waiting to be exposed. The reality is we all will experience moments, if not days, of worrying we are not good enough. In fact, around 70% of people feel ill-equipped to fill their own shoes in the job they have. Irrelevant of the logical argument that the promotion, or application you were successful at getting, indicates you are more than adequate to do the job.

The downside of not openly talking about our crippling self-doubt is that we limit our potential by leaving the belief unchallenged. This self-sabotaging behaviour helps no-one and can feed into the misconstrued belief that we are not good enough.

Don't be too humble.

For some we display exaggerated humility which research believes is a protective impulse: ‘the need for an exit strategy’ Feeling Like a Fake. In this sense the minimalising of achievement and being too humble (‘aw shucks it was nothing, no it’s not that great, I could have done more,’) creates a plausible way out if you were to be suddenly discovered as a failure. The issue here is we all will fail at some time, at something and acting with an exit strategy mindset becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When you emerge as an excessively humble CEO, to manage feeling like an imposter, not only is it inauthentic but a reliance on outsourcing and advisors to avoid failure, becomes a compensatory mechanism rather than an effective tool. And this behaviour undermines the best way to overcome feeling like an imposter.

Our tips to shake that fake feeling are:
  1. Self-evaluate. You are the best person to evaluate your capabilities, value added skills and performance.
  2. Get a team. Have a kick ass group of mentors and coaches to keep your view in perspective (listen to our Episode 2).
  3. Don't compare. You are unique. You are where you are, in the job you are in, because of your difference. No one wants a team of robots who all think the same. Not in the future workplaces anyway.
  4. Put your hand up to train others. It is a great way to realise what you know and what you contribute. We learn more from supervising and coaching others about what we know and have learnt, than at any other time.
  5. You do you. Acknowledge what you do really well and what are areas of improvement, so you have a balanced approach to your skill base.
  6. Accept you will fail. And say the wrong thing, be challenged and have opinions dismissed. Learn from these moments rather than be offended or see them as criticism.
  7. Reframe, rethink and rewire. Invite challenges that push you, challenge your fear of failure, small steps at first until you realise you are as equal.

Or you can try what I did, as I watched the highly experienced consultants talk on my client's presentation in that hospital meeting. I took a deep breath and backed myself. I talked honestly about my perspective and what I believed would be the best path forward. I relied on the knowledge and experience I did have and stayed in my lane. I won't say it was a comfortable couple of hours, but I walked away, feeling better than when I went in. Sometimes that is a win.

Follow us at The Business Hangover with Nicky and Sarah on Spotify and all popular podcast sites.

Sleeping on the job. Is it a good thing?

Who would have thought that sleeping on the job would become a reality? How do you feel about placing sleeping pods in the workplace, so that your employees can take a rest? A nanna nap. A couple of Zd’s between tasks? It’s novel and happening.

What we do know is that lack of sleep affects our judgment and decision-making capabilities. The longer we are sleep deprived, the worse we become at clarity of thought. And here’s the thing. We are not just talking about overworking, type A’s or unreasonable deadlines that keep us up at night. What about the worriers, the over thinkers and ruminators?

Most of us have had one of those nights. You know, can’t sleep because a job, a task, a deadline is looming, and we have got ourselves in a state. We wake up groggy, tired and grouchy and pack that fatigue up and take it to work. Would the opportunity to take a nap be beneficial?

It brings up, for us at least at TBH, more questions than answers. How do small businesses manage this? Those organisations that have few employees. What work time is lost? What does small delays cost the business? Is it a lunch time thing? Could it replace the coffee break? Who monitors the usage? Who is more likely to use it? Experience would tell that high achievers and performers are less likely to choose to sleep on the job, despite the fact it could be helpful for their wellbeing and output.

Individuals more susceptible to stress are more likely to engage in a sleep break. And that brings us to the concept of how far do workplaces go to get the optimum from their people? Where is the line between personal responsibility for wellbeing and performance on the job and the organisational responsibility to provide healthy and supportive workplace environments? How do you monitor the use or misuse of these innovative ideas? Are we travelling down a slippery slope of morphing workplaces into pseudo psych clinics?

On one hand when we take a job we agree, in exchange for payment, to present ready and capable to complete the job requirements. On the other hand, businesses have a clear responsibility to ensure that while you are at work, you have a safe and productive environment to help you perform your tasks. The bigger question is where, in this exchange, is the tipping point? How do we not encourage mental health dependency and still promote self-motivated and owned resilience?

With the COVID-19 impact more issues are entering the workplaces, that are related, but not exclusively to our jobs. These include;

  • Increased social anxiety.

  • Problems adjusting to returning to work.

  • Hypersensitivity to performance.

  • Lower resilience and coping in conflict.

  • Higher emotional distress readjusting to in person pressure and communication.

  • Increased personal issues (separation, domestic violence, economic, isolation, substance abuse, depression and triggered traumatic memories).

  • Increased anticipatory anxiety (what next?).

  • (COVID emotional tsunami after the global shock).

The question is can workplaces and business owners really manage such an increase of personal mental health issues. Should they be expected to know what to do? If not, what are the alternatives?

Perhaps we need to use language in a more constructive way so our intent at work and in business is clearer. Our investment should be on building resilience, coping capacity and self determination and responsibility. Mental health is a complex issue that workplaces, management and team leaders are not, and should not be expected to, be across at the level we are increasingly expecting them to be. Could we stop overusing the words ‘mental health’ to such a point that everything becomes an ‘illness’ of one sort or another. Many of our reactions, interactions and emotions (including the negative ones) are a very normal, if not uncomfortable, human experience. If all stress requires intervention, if tiredness shifts to a workplace responsibility are we starting to pathologies rather then build resilience. Caring is very different to enabling.

The question we pondered is, instead of creating sleep pods, for example, could we be better at empowering our people to manage, seek assistance and care for their wellbeing. Could resources be directed to expanded EAP programs so they are educational and inspirational resources for employees to look after their wellbeing better? Not just options for when our employee’s mental health is in crisis. Do we need Employer Resilience Programs instead, that all our teams engage in? Individually tailored programs that place the responsibility back on the person to care and look after themselves, to be healthy and ready for their jobs and to know the external supports and options available to help them.

There is a shadow line between providing support in the workplace and enabling dependency on others to resolve personal mental and physical health issues. Support is focused on helping to help ourselves. If workplaces continue to provide mental health answers to personal issues unrelated to the job and the work environment, are we creating a bigger problem than we are trying to resolve?

Much like the helicopter parenting syndrome that has created a level of mental health learned helplessness in children, business environments must focus on strengthening, growing and supporting our teams to be their optimum self and avoid taking ownership of mental health beyond the primary responsibility of healthy, safe and functional cultures.

Some tips to ponder.

  • Demonstrate compassion and enforce expectations and rules for the workplace.

  • Normalise common human experiences and emotions (not everything is pathological).

  • Build resilience to coping rather treatment focused options.

  • Mental health issues do not excuse unacceptable behaviour (gives context).

  • Be mindful of the difference between support and enabling.

  • Seek professional advice if unsure how to manage issues.

  • The goal is to build individual resilience and personal responsibility for self-care.

  • Workplaces are part of the wider community, link to resources that can help.

  • Don’t let dysfunctional conduct continue unattended, support getting help.

  • Wellness and wellbeing are different to managing mental health and un-wellness.

Kick ass tribes and groove crews.

If you ask anyone who has done the long haul to success what got them over the line and sealed their career, they will tell you the people around them. Friends and family that chipped in to help and were a constant cheer squad. Your network that guided and held you steady. And more often than not, the mentors or coaches (MC’s) that supported you, challenged you and gave that mental slap down when you needed it.

Mentors are more than hand holders through the tough times. They see the ride ahead and get it will be tough. They understand you’ll want to give up and stop at some stage. They know you’ll ask yourself if it is all really worth it. So, why don’t we ensure a mentor or coach is part of our groove crew. The group that builds a mental trampoline under you, for those career ups and down.

MC’s- The why and why not’s

For some it is a cost thing. Investment over tangible benefits can be a hurdle to grasp and conquer. This is because a lot of the work done by MC’s is quiet and non-transactional. It is in the building of confidence, sharing of knowledge and shaping of professional resilience. Skills that are hard to measure and are formatted over time.

For others it’s in the trust and value they place on guidance and experience. We can all be a bit of a knowledge guts at times, assuming we have the answers, or our situation is unique. Many may have trusted others in the past only to be blindsided professionally or financially.

Of course, another reason for the reluctance to embrace MC’s is in the fear of challenge, failure or success. Being held accountable means there is no-where to hide. All the dodging, avoidance, excuses and procrastination is held under a spotlight. You might just be faced with your own blocks, inadequacies, gaps and emotional levers. Uncomfortable, sure, but necessary to push through to the success you dream about.

Finally, the eggs in one basket syndrome. No one MC can provide all the learning, support and skill development over your professional career. This can lead you to feeling let down or frustrated. After all, MC’s are not magicians, friends or family. They are just highly skilled people with specialised knowledge.

Who do you need in the Kick Ass tribe?

For some it is a cost thing. Investment over tangible benefits can be a hurdle to grasp and conquer. This is because a lot of the work done by MC’s is quiet and non-transactional. It is in the building of confidence, sharing of knowledge and shaping of professional resilience. Skills that are hard to measure and are formatted over time.

For others it’s in the trust and value they place on guidance and experience. We can all be a bit of a knowledge guts at times, assuming we have the answers, or our situation is unique. Many may have trusted others in the past only to be blindsided professionally or financially.

Of course, another reason for the reluctance to embrace MC’s is in the fear of challenge, failure or success. Being held accountable means there is no-where to hide. All the dodging, avoidance, excuses and procrastination is held under a spotlight. You might just be faced with your own blocks, inadequacies, gaps and emotional levers. Uncomfortable, sure, but necessary to push through to the success you dream about.

Finally, the eggs in one basket syndrome. No one MC can provide all the learning, support and skill development over your professional career. This can lead you to feeling let down or frustrated. After all, MC’s are not magicians, friends or family. They are just highly skilled people with specialised knowledge.

  • The Downloader (who you dump and share all the stuff going on in your life).

  • The Mentor (the one who has walked in those shoes before you tried them on).

  • The Balancer ( a rational and reasonable voice to hold you true north).

  • The Challenger (that person that can challenge you fearlessly and call your shit out).

  • The Cheersquader (celebrates all victories and pumps you ready to go again in your failures).

  • The Connector (reaches out to connect and network you with those who can teach, coach and help you succeed).

With this blend of support, as well as family and friends, we would have to say we are bloody lucky to have our tribes –the kick ass crew who helps us be better than we were yesterday

Our advice to all is find your tribe, make it huge and know your challenge to target who helps with what.

Don’t forget to listen to our podcasts and share the love.

Available on Anchor, Pocketcasts and Spotify

The Extra Sip

Episode 1.

The feedback from our podcast asked us to delve a little deeper into the concepts we talked about. Never shy of a challenge we said, why not? The Extra Sip is a blog to explore the ideas and feedback from our podcast series and to continue to share the world of business, our views and experiences with you.

In the business world we call an unpredictable or unforeseen event, usually something that comes with an extreme consequence, a Black Swan event. It is a unique set of circumstances that we were unable to gauge and as such, the strategic plans to manage the outcomes, are unsuitable at best and disastrous at worst.

If nothing else the recent pandemic highlighted a level of complacency and misguided belief that we actually control our environment and our business futures. The disruption to supply chains, productivity models, workforce support and IT capabilities were quickly shown to be inadequate and slow to manoeuvre or respond to the chaos of a crisis.

Our risk management plans had not dived deep into the unexpected risks that a world that runs on its own framework could have on the delivery of outputs and commerce. We failed to truly encapsulate the mental health impact on our workforce created by Black Swan events, or the understanding of the time frame of chaos on our personal and professional lives, individually, within communities and globally.

Model Risk Management teams (MRM) or as we call them Black Swan Management teams (BSM) have a big job ahead of them now. CEO’s and Directors must be mindful of how they situate the importance of a well-funded group of creative and outlier thinking individuals within the business models moving forward. The benefits are to discover the unpredictable opportunities and theoretically road test the possible outcomes.

A fast moving business landscape.

What has been highlighted is the large number of organisations needing to structure their business with the backbone of a creative culture that drives strategic planning and operational structuring for the future. How we think, act and brainstorm in business is on an equal footing with the importance of our procedures, processes, and production goals. Reliance on historical data to predict future trends and deliverables is nonsensical in times of crisis. Business loose the ability to stay ahead of the curve, as catching up is now near impossible. Our business landscape is shifting too fast and the variables are adding up daily- from service delivery and production to workforce accountability and support.

Value-added person-centred approaches or Humanistic Leadership can lead us through the discord and turbulence of crisis in business. A fully functional and funded BSM team have the capacity to become the business expert advisors, capable of offering sound judgment built on the creative and innovative brainstorming that is their role within the business. Although not fool proof, it is a proactive way to engage in the unpredictable world and forecast possibility and purpose moving forward.

Four factors of Black Swan purpose.

Some research is demonstrating that four factors are integral to the BSM goals.

  1. Being able for an organisation to make a decision with speed and high levels of efficiency, is more valuable to recovery and adaptation.
  2. Preparing a BSM contingence plan with a governance strategy that includes workplace reform, alternative supply chain resources and transient employee roles.
  3. Embracing, utilising and pushing technology to flex with change is imperative to success.
  4. The business and CEO value set that looks beyond profit margins and revenue streams and considers social wellbeing, emotional workplace support services and other non-technical outcomes of the crisis.

Thawing your Frozen Middle.

So, who should be part of your BSM team?

Look into the middle section of your business structure. Draw from this ‘frozen middle’ of talent the individuals that, perhaps your HR assessment screening ruled out. What a business ‘Frozen Middle’ brings to the BSM is:

  • A focus on dynamics ahead of mechanics.

  • Skills generated from ideas and creativity stimulation as this is what thaws the ice to make connection to the bigger organisational picture.

  • Flexibility depending on what is needed- a job role, organisational level discovery driven or simply an attitude invested in the cultural objectives. It gives you your own gig based economy within your four walls.

The Black Swan must-haves.

In your BSM the team you might be looking for;

  • The Devil’s advocate who argues the opposite.

  • The Day Dreamer who sees problems from creative viewpoints, no matter the actual possibility.

  • The Emotional Architect who watches the social impact of every action and reaction.

  • The Catastrophiser who dooms and glooms all possible outcomes.

These outliers are the thinkers who can design the impossible and build a framework to hold your business together and have fast acting pace for any crisis that hits.

Of course, to do this we must re-think the importance of failure as a cultural positive within operational structures. A Failure Fund, crisis tool kit, what ever you want to call it, funds the BSM. It let’s us explore, create, innovate and design the survival mechanisms and the organisations non negotiable control points. It enables technology, that emotionally and operationally drives a business through the crisis and out the other side. What it can offer a business strategy is:

  • The backing to the “Vision” statement that we try to learn and culturally embed the backbone to our vision- it’s about acting in alignment with a BSM belief, not just stating the rules.

  • An opportunity to look at a world with no boundaries.

So, what happens when you bring the concept of a failure fund to an organisation? What are the separate roles fearful about? Well, we found out. In an actual coaching session with a large organisation this is what each manager identified as the blocks to integrating the concept.

Future flux

Real Reactions to Failure Funding.

The CFO – “How much will it cost?”

The Entrepreneur – “Amazing, this is brilliant. How soon can we get started?”

The Product Development Team– “Awesome, but don’t go crazy we still need to satisfy some criteria!”

The Line Manager– “How much is to much and how do I keep it under control and not stifle creativity?”

The Compliance Department– “What critical control points do I need to make it work but not get it caught up in a process?”

Changing operational dynamic’s will always bring a level of trepidation and uncertainty. If we incorporate engaging the frozen middle of our business models, embed the Black Swan Model of Management into the strategic planning and embrace a failure fund culture, then change becomes the new normal, adaptation the new skill and humanistic leadership the style of management and ownership for the future.

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Being future ready in business.

Sarah Godfrey 2020

The new buzz word, ‘disruption’ isn’t just business-speak. It is the way of the future. Looking forward we need to be discord directed. Not in the paranoid, doom and gloom perspective of the world and business. Rather in an optimistic, come and get me, resilient way. Think, readiness for the expected chaos that has a ironic predictability about it.

According to the McKinsey Global Report 2020, disruption to business, be it climate events, theft, cyber attacks or as we experienced biological events, occur with some regularity. Although the sample size is significantly small, the report indicates the following:

Disruption Frequency

We should expect some form of disruption to our businesses;

  • 1 to 2 weeks every couple of years.

  • 2 to 4 weeks every three years

  • 1 to 2 months every four years and

  • Over 2 months disruption every five years.

These suggested frequencies are not set in stone and may not apply to all businesses. In fact the more your business relies on a centralised base, the more likely it will be affected by disruption elements. Safe strategic sourcing can leave your business vulnerable to world events. It can delay rebounding from disruptions to manufacturing, consumer needs and supply chains.

Tips to get discord ready.

The McKinsey report advises to think long term. Where most companies will lose an average of 40% of a years’ profit, every decade, due to disruption and every five to seven years, 100 days of production, a risk diverse policy needs to be incorporated into the culture of every business model. The report suggests we should be incorporating into our strategic planning:

  • Stronger risk management procedures

  • Improve transparency.

  • Build redundancy in our supplier and transport networks.

  • Hold more inventory.

  • Reduce product complexity.

  • Have flexible production across multiple sites.

  • Improve financial and operational costs to respond to and recover from disruption.

It might be time to embed a disruption costing into our balance sheets that allows for the regularity of discord and chaos. Our reactive process as is current that ignites only when the disruption occurs, is a thing of the past. Manifesting the likelihood of disruption into out business models will engage creative and innovative planning, conceptualisation and engagement with source and production chains, employees, management and consumers.

What your business can do.

To expand on this, Mike Ross BDC CEO Excellence Retreat proposes that we should be valuing adaptability and looking towards future disruption instead of the “everything is fine” attitude pre COVID-19. He suggests part of the operational design of a business includes a team to manage a ‘Disruptive Change Matrix-DCM.’ The DCM monitors the impact and probability of disruption, allowing the business to act and prepare for an event. A proactive risk management style instead of reactive.

A team built to manage discord and chaos becomes an early warning system, with the capacity to guide CEO’s and organisations to make changes, adjust and engage in business, climate and scientific events. In this way the knowledge learnt can be used to navigate business through inevitable disruptions and plan for recovery. In smaller businesses, you can create a DCM position and nominate one employee who demonstrates the confidence and interest to perform the role.

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And, you can start now.

Have strategic plans already in place, open enough to be adapted and changed as required. A foundation of resilience and recovery planning, as part of the culture of the business, gives security and transparency to employees and staff.

Have Creative Centres in your business to encourage ideas and brainstorming, engaging your teams in the ‘What if’ scenarios and bonding the belonging of a unified commitment to tackling the disruptive events.

Review your supply chains, flexibility and employee resilience in preparation for whatever disruptions lay ahead. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and challenge the status quo. What can be done, moved, changed and resourced?

So much is out of our control in the business world. We cannot stop disruption.By controlling what we can, gives us a professional and financial edge, speeds up recovery so we are better at taking the hits, makes failure part of an expected business framework and builds resilient and ready teams.

If you want to implement a Creative Centre in your business, contact Sarah directly.

Mind and Body Emotional Links

Sarah Godfrey 2021

Ever wondered what a heat scan would show about how we experience emotions? We have a universal image of anger being hot and depression being cold, yet how close to these assumptions are we really? The mind-body experience has intrinsic associations to how we relate feelings to physical parts of our body.

Researchers have investigated how this link between emotions and bodily states is also reflected in the way we speak of emotions, ‘a young bride getting married next week may suddenly have “cold feet,” severely disappointed lovers may be “heartbroken,” and our favourite song may send “a shiver down our spine.” Bodily maps of Emotions

Physical reactions to how we feel are triggered by our autonomic nervous systems (visceral motor system), which engages our body ready for a perceived change in environments, threat or event. Yet, how come different emotions create different physical experiences at different physical locations?

The ability to express and recognise feelings is a vital part of our human experience and skill to communicate. While previously the belief was we had six primary emotional states, current research, now believes our feelings extend to over 27 different emotional states (Emoji fans take heart)

These are: admiration, adoration, aesthetic appreciation, amusement, anger, anxiety, awe, awkwardness, boredom, calmness, confusion, craving, disgust, empathic pain, entrancement, excitement, fear, horror, interest, joy, nostalgia, relief, romance, sadness, satisfaction, sexual desire and surprise.

Broadening our knowledge on our emotional range helps define mood states, however new research has taken that awareness a step further. The team from Aalto University in Finland ( Emotions and Body Sensations ) has produced some fascinating research on how our bodies literally experience a range of emotions. They looked beyond the traditional top six and incorporated more from the 27 identified states we experience.

Using a topographical self -report measure, the research showed that even the most common emotional experiences produced strong sensations physically. Not only that, but each emotion had its own unique signature, and these signatures were the same across all cultures, unifying our emotional connectivity.

We may wonder the use of such research, however understanding how emotions effect our body can help in the development of diagnostic and treatment options. It allows us a greater understanding of the psychosomatic responses and the physical impact of negative or positive emotional feelings on our well-being.

What is interesting is the warm sensations such as happiness, pride and love are also connected to anger, fear and disgust. Cool sensations such as depression and neutral have no warm signatures at all. Anxiety, contempt, shame, envy, sadness and surprise show a mixed physical response.

From a psychological perspective this reflects the reporting of many individuals where mixed emotions are described. A person may feel excited and yet anxious. We may feel happy and yet sad about an event at the same time. When surprised we feel a mix of joy and fear. When shamed we may feel sad and disgusted. The combination of strong emotional responses, allows us to physically identify the complexity individuals feel, allowing better strategies to be developed to reduce these internal conflicts.

While the Aalto research continues to demonstrate how physically we feel and how our feelings directly affect our physicality, this isn’t the first foray into exploring the mind-body emotional link.

The emotional impact on the structure of tears reshaped how we understood (at a micro-level) emotional influences on our biology. Rose-Lynn Fisher’s 2010 project Topography of Tears was a fascinating view into the microscopic world of dried emotional tears. Her work, using her own tears, showed us the intrinsic beauty that each emotional experience had at the micro-level. Each feeling produced strikingly different patterns, landscapes of emotion locked in the tears’ structure (pictured is Compassion).

In 2015 photographer Maurice Mikkers explored how tears are divided into three different categories based on their origin: emotional, basal, and reflex, interested in causation as a point of difference. In his project the Imaginarium of tears which is an active collection of tears linked to personal stories, Mikkers found that tears continued to have unique dimensions, although he was unsure whether the process or the emotion was the origin of the exceptional patterns he found (seen below sadness though challenge and sadness through dying).

Mikkers explained, “It’s hard to say if the physiology described in science is actually seen when a tear is crystallizing under a microscope, or if the emotional waves and state of the person is influencing the way the tear is shaping when crystallizing.”

Our emotions signal many things about ourselves, our memories and our environments. As research continues to explore the impact and connectivity between our mind and body, our ability to self-soothe and self-discover, find better treatments and supports and understand the complexity of mixed emotional states grows. As T.K Coleman said, ‘ Our feelings are not there to be cast out or conquered. They’re there to be engaged and expressed with imagination and intelligence.’